Monday, June 23, 2014

My Paint a picture

The Mystery of the Wharepaku

This Week Room 17 have been painting a picture for writing. I like mine because i was making it up. I think I should put more detail into my writing.

add detail to our creative writing to make it interesting to our reader

Success Criteria

- use of descriptive words to build a picture

- use different sentence beginnings and types

- use expressive vocabulary

- describe the event so the reader feels as though they are there

- be creative and imaginative


As I walked past the laundry door I saw  another door on the door “How strange is that, in fact that is not strange because I’ve seen a flying sausage before” I thought to myself .  Without a doubt I walked to the door , I was such a fatty I couldn’t fit through.  For a moment I thought I was seeing things but actually down by the door there was a little bottle of pink liquid and just by luck it said “ Drink me if you dare but beware”. So if you really know me i drank it.  Then in a couple of seconds i could feel myself shrinking, it felt weird but then guess what i turned into “ a kind of maori minion” and with that i marched on in. Ding ding went the bell in my brain how are you going to open the door i thought “easy” i laughed, and with precaution trying not to be too loud, just in case my dog notices me i tiptoed to the kitchen. For once there was no one in the kitchen which i found weird. I climbed up the handles on the spoons,knives, and forks cupboard , and on the bench there were some scissors that mum was obviously using to get silver beet off the garden.  I grabbed them and then ventured back to the edge of the bench and jumped off.  Then i ran back to that unusual door then held the scissors and then started hacking at the keyhole then finally it opened just enough for me to go in.  As i entered i seen nothing but pitch black, i started sulking and i came to my sense which was carry on.  I spotted a dim light by the door i grabbed it and shut the white door behind me.  I saw some wisps so i followed them and the wisps led me to another door.  I heard the flush of a toilet i whispered to myself “ no of course that wasn’t the flush of a toilet i thought” i curiously opened the door to find a toilet talking to another one.  I ran out and screamed “ ahh mum talking toilets”. I raced out the way i came in slammed the door .  Oh no i can’t go big again.  Then i seen a the bottle that said “ drink me” and then quick as a lightning bolt i drank it and the a last i was back my normal size.  “Oh what a extraordinary adventure that was” i muttered.


  1. Wow wow wow ! I like the story mihi because of the little door and stuff. But do you relly think that a toilet would be behind that door I mean how are the humans supposed to get in there.

    1. Um Well for starters if you read there was a potion. Plus i was being imaginative about those toilets